


Sweet Humming

by kittykit



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Alcohol, Anxiety Disorder, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Frisk Uses Sign Language, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Monsters, Multi, Past Abuse, Phobias, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader-Insert, References to Depression, Slow Burn, sci fi shit happens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-09 17:15:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11109153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittykit/pseuds/kittykit
Summary: You had recently moved into a small apartment all on your own after being accepted into your dream college. You decide living on your own would be best, and the night you move into your apartment, you being to hum to yourself while doing some work for your upcoming assignment. You slowly being to start singing, trying to ease yourself into your new living situation. A knock on the wall you shared with the apartment next door makes you jump."hey, kid, you're real good at that, but it's three am and i'm tryna sleep."Sorry, I suck at descriptions.





	1. Skeleton Next Door

_Deep breaths. This is a new life._

You glanced around your new apartment, grateful for it in it entirety. You knew you couldn't survive a dorm room, and even the thought of being around other students every second of every day freaked you out. You had a hard time even asking for help in most situations, whether it be because you can't figure out what a certain part of your assignment entails or if you're being stalked when walking down the street. You needed help ordering food sometimes, too. It was like you to be a nervous wreck and to embarass yourself constantly, so you usually kept to yourself.

You took a few steps, gently opening the door to your new bedroom. The entire house was set up the way you wanted. The living room housed couches, bookshelves, and even a TV. You were thankful for the job you worked, and the commissions of your art. The only reason you had what you did was because of your job and because of your commissions. You took a seat at your new desk (New to you, old to who you bought it from), and sighed happily. You dug around in your bag for you pencil case, sitting down to get to work. You had an assignment due tomorrow, a simple sketch of your favorite show/movie/whatever, assigned by one of your professors. He was pretty laid back, and you were thankful for that being your first assignment. 

You popped in your headphones, turned on your desk light, and got to work. As you worked, you hummed softly to yourself. You knew it was late, but with the new surroundings you knew it would be hard to fall asleep. Might as well work on the thing you had procrastinated on. You continued humming, and as you neared the end of your piece, you had began singing. Not loud, but enough so you could hear yourself over the low volume of your own music. You sighed, erasing a few things on your paper and going back over it. You continued to sing lightly to yourself, not a real care in the world.

But of course, you just had to embarass yourself in front of your neighbor.

Well, not really in front of, but he had clearly heard you. You let out a yelp as a soft tapping sounded in front of you. You paused, was that directed at you? It had to be, right? You chose to ignore it, after a moment going back to humming. Another few taps, this time a bit louder. You froze, staring at the wall in front of you.

"hey, kid, you're pretty good at that, but it's three am and i'm tryna sleep." It went silent as you heard a bit of shuffling on the other side. Were the walls seriously this thin? You wouldn't have moved in if you knew-

"I'm so sorry!" You squeaked, eyes glancing frantically around the wall in front of your desk. "I-I had no idea the walls were so thin, I'll t-try to keep it down." You heard a light chuckle from the other side. Was he... Laughing? At your expense? You felt like crying, it was so late and you were finally beginning to feel tired but you knew you would never be able to sleep after this. Every little thing seemed to get to you.

"hey, it's alright. don't  _beat_ yourself up about it." It took you a moment to realize he had just spoken in a pun. Beat? Like, in a song? That was a stretch. You couldn't help the small giggle that rose from your throat, knocking on the wall in front of you. "Knock knock." You heard another small chuckle as he responded. "who's there?" You paused, thinking for a moment. You weren't extremely witty, but you hoped this would make up for you keeping him up. "Britney Spears." He wanted music jokes, he got them. "britney spears who?" You chuckled, trying to keep your cool. "Knock knock." He sounded a bit frustrated when he finally responded, but you knew he had to be smiling. "who's there?" Another pause. "Britney Spears." He sighed, and you heard a small  _thump_ from the other side. He was resting his head against the wall, it seemed. "britney spears who?"

"Oops, I did it again." You heard him chuckling, and you began to too until you snorted. "Oh, god," You mumbled, covering you mouth with your hand. "I'm sorry, that was so bad," You continued chuckling, and you heard him move. "heh, it's alright. i liked it quite a _beat_ , actually." You frowned, another small laugh escaping your lips. "Hey, you can't use the same pun twice!" You laughed, knocking on the wall that separated you both. "who're you, the pun police? arrest yourself for the bad britney joke then." You snorted again, groaning. You hated that you kept doing that. "Hey man, I was trying to have a good time but like, you're attacking my jokes. S'unfiar." He chuckled, and you heard him shift. You let out a yawn, and he snickered from the other side. "hey, don't _resist a rest_." You snorted, he was witty. You liked it. You, however, were not. You were faking your way through this entire conversation.

"Fine, I won't. You too, though. Get some sleep." You heard him shuffle, and you went over to you bed. You heard a creak from the other side. Wait, were your beds against the same wall? "hey, one more joke. what happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?" You hummed, hearing his quiet laugh. "it becomes daytrogen." You snorted, rolling over in your bed. "I'm going to bed." You stated, rolling your eyes. Not like he could see you, anyways.

"good _nitrogen_." Another groan. Was he for real?

"sleep _tightrogen_." You knocked on the wall, a whine escaping your lips. "Stoooop, I have class tomorrow!"

"fine, but don't let the bed bugs  _biterogen_." You groaned again, hitting the wall lightly. You heard him laugh before he seemed to roll over too. You fell asleep soon after.

* * *

"Shit, shit, shit," You were practically chanting to yourself as you ran around your apartment. You decided you wanted to look nice for class, so you had put on a bit of makeup; powder foundation, eyebrows, eyeliner, and mascara. Unfortunately for you, however, your eyeliner took longer than expected and you were going to be late. You ripped your sketchbook off your desk and stuffed it in your bag, along with the three pencil cases you carried. You dashed to the kitchen, tugging your beanie over your hair to hide the fact you hadn't washed it in a few days as you picked up your coffee, practically running out the door and into- oh. A skeleton. Right. Because that makes total sense.

You yelped, gripping your coffee so it wouldn't fall and ruin your outfit. Comfy, as usual. "S-Sorry! I-I'm in a hurry, so um, yeah!" You backed up, waving as you dashed off. You didn't notice the smirking skeleton laugh and mumble "better latte than never," as he turned to go back into his own apartment, flipping through the mail he had gotten. 

You barely made it to class on time, slipping into your seat beside one of your... Was he a friend? I guess he could be called that. "Hey, Andy." You murmured, placing your coffee down and digging out your sketchbook. He smiled, leaning his head on his hand as he looked at you. "You look well rested. Get enough sleep for once?" It was amazing you had friends, you found it hard to communicate with people you didn't know. You grinned at him, flipping to your rough sketch from the night before.

"Uh, actually, I talked to someone. On my own." He gasped, a grin spreading over his face quickly. "Seriously? You get choked up talking to me sometimes! You spoke to a stranger without help? Absolutely amazing." You rolled your eyes. "Hey, I'm improving." You couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not. "Yeah, clearly! You guys friends now? How'd it happen?" You shrugged, sighing. "I was humming at three AM while finishing my sketch," You gestured to your open sketchbook. "And the guy next door heard me. Apparently his bedroom is on the same wall as mine, and the walls are hella thin. So, he knocked and asked me to shut it." You laughed, a smile tugging at your own face. "Okay, he didn't say that, but we stayed up joking. He made some pretty bad puns," Andy grinned, tapping his fingers on the desk in front of you. "Examples?"

You sighed, trying to do your best imitation of the guy. Deeper voice, one that could make anyone smile. He was like a living joke, his voice could make you smile all on it's own. "Well, he made a pretty bad joke about nitrogen and when I responded with 'I'm going to bed', he said  _'good nitrogen, sleep tightrogen, don't let the bed bugs biterogen'._ " Andy let out a soft chuckle, cutting the conversation short as the professor stepped into the room. Class began, and you found yourself smiling throughout, making mental art puns as he spoke about color theory. 

That damn guy was rubbing off on you with his punny nature.

* * *

You pushed your key into the keyhole of your apartment, groaning when you couldn't get it in. You heard a laugh beside you, whipping your head around to meet whoever had laughed. It was the skeleton from this morning. Great.

"long day?" He asked, sipping his mug of... Something. You weren't sure, he was leaning on the rail in front of his apartment. Had you interrupted him relaxing and winding down? Well, maybe you should try to make conversation. "You have no idea." You drawl, sighing and sinking to the floor outside your apartment. You were too tired to try and stick the key back in, you just wanted to sit. So you did.

He chuckled again, and you glanced up. He was holding his mug out to you, and you slowly reached for it. The liquid inside was steaming as you wrapped your hands around it. You took a tentative sip, realizing it was hot chocolate. You smiled as he sat beside you, holding back a chuckle. It was summer, but he was still drinking hot chocolate as the sun went down? How sweet. You passed it back to him, and he set it on the ground in between you both. "i'm sans." He held out a hand to you, a larger smile crossing over your face. His hand was made entirely out of bones, and as you looked up to study his face a bit, you noticed that every part of him was bone; no muscle or anything. Just bone.

You shook his hand, and told him your name. He hummed, looking off into the sunset before you both. "so you're our new punny neighbor." You laughed awkwardly, taking the beanie from your head and running your hand through your hair. "Yeah, I'm uh, the girl who kept you up last night." He didn't even look to you as you spoke. He just kept staring at the sunset.

You wondered if the newness of the surface had worn off for monsters. He seemed to love looking at the sunset, but most people did. The monsters had been on the surface for almost a year, and laws had been passed making sure they had the same rights and legalities as humans. Most government officials had dropped everything they were doing to learn about the monsters, and most were welcomed with open arms. Unfortunately, like any sort of change, there were still humans completely against monsters. He sighed after a few moments, watching the stars as they slowly appeared. "you're not mad that i'm a monster and not a human?" You gave him a confused look and he continued. "well, not everyone wants to have monsters as neighbors. and you spoke so openly and friendly to me last night, i just thought, hey, if she knew i wasn't human, that might change. i just wanna be on good terms with my new pal." He shot you a wink, and you smiled for a moment before the smile dropped from your face. Did he think you were a racist? Ouch.

"I don't think that's fair," You finally murmured, watching as he tore his eyes from the landscape to look at you. "That monsters are treated the way they are, I mean." You looked up at the stars, feeling his eyes on you as you spoke. "I try to be as open and friendly as possible. No matter the race, sexual orientation, or even if they're a monster. I don't care, just as long as they're a good person." He seemed content with your answer, and you hoped it was good enough. A heart to heart with your new neighbor wasn't exactly what you expected, but it was nice. You never really talked about serious stuff with anyone.

"thanks," He mumbled, looking down at the mug he held in his hands. Had he picked it up while you were rambling? "you should stop by for dinner sometime, my brother loves guests." He stood, stretching. He held a boney hand out for you, a smile crossing over your face as he pulled you up. You nodded, shuffling through your keys. "Hey, yeah! Sounds nice, actually." You didn't want to admit you didn't eat much at home, since your budget was always so small. A free meal sounded nice for once. A free, home cooked meal. He smiled, holding his phone out to you. You took it, passing him your own as you typed out your number. You saved it, handing it back to him. He smiled at it, waving you goodbye as he disappeared into his own home.

You opened your door, stepping inside and locking it. You smiled, stepping out of your shoes and heading to your bedroom. You sat at your desk, turning on the lamp. You didn't realize it was turned right into your face, a yelp escaping you. "Jesus, why is this so bright?!" You shouted to yourself, a soft chuckle erupting from the skeleton on the other side of the wall.

" _iris_ you'd stop shouting," He laughed.

You threw an eraser at the wall, chucking. You were going to enjoy living here.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy first chapter yo. I hope it isn't too short! I enjoyed writing it, so I hope you enjoy reading it as well.
> 
> For updates on this fic and more, follow me on Tumblr; NationallyDone
> 
> Stay tuned! <3


	2. Sansiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "not my fault you're into boring games."

You had many dreams and ambitions. 

Every time someone asked you what you wanted to do after school, you would say the same thing; "I wanna be an animator and make my own show!", but as you grew and changed, you would be filled with more and more ideas. You thought animation would be your best chance, and would be fun too. You could add each of your talents into it. Drawing, writing, even music if you wanted. You stayed with that as your answer, but sometimes you wondered if you would even make it. If you got an internship at some sort of company, Adult Swim, Cartoon Network, Pixar- Somewhere with animation, you would be practically guaranteed a job. However, even if you had made it into a good school, it was a competitive area of work. Especially if unpaid- you'd never be able to do it, which meant you had no job lined up after school yet. 

And that also led to doubt.

It had taken you years to be okay with your art, sometimes even proud, but even now you sometimes doubted your skill. You tended to shy away from in-class critiques, always saying what you needed to get your grade only to ignore the words of love, admiration, and even helpful critiques of your classmates when it was your turn. No one was ever rude, most art students tended to be introverts anyways. You liked going to school in all honesty, even if it meant having to go to work after (and sometimes before).

And that's where you were now. You had a day off from classes, it being a grading day for most professors. Though it wasn't exactly a planned one, all of your professors had talked it over and told you all of you wanted to come to work you could, but they would be grading and would appriciate not being bothered. So you didn't go. You went to work instead, telling your boss if she needed extra help today you could go in early. 

That is why, at 9:30 in the morning, you were sitting at your post at the local skater shop. Yes, you worked at a clothing store made mostly for skaters. A very artsy place, actually; when you were in highschool you used to skateboard. You weren't good by any means, but you were... Okay. You could go places and do a few things, but you tended to just skate to a park to draw. It was nice, actually. You were hired after your interview, the manager telling you you would be working the counter that held boards and wheels and such since you knew more than some of the other employees. To your surprise, they ended up hiring someone who knew more, so you were usually a cashier in the clothing portion. You helped with shoes, sweatshirts, tank tops, bags, all that jazz. Better than getting into lengthy conversations about which set of wheels would be best for what board. 

The shop was usually slow right now, and you didn't feel like making conversation with the other workers, so you checked your phone. You held back a snort at the name you placed as Sans in your phone.

Sansiel: 9:41 AM  
hey, paps was wondering if you'd come over tonight for dinner. feel free to turn down the offer, but it's like kicking a puppy. you wouldn't kick a puppy, would you?

You frowned at your phone. Was he seriously trying to guilt trip you into dinner? He seriously didn't have to try so hard, you were always ready for a free meal. 

xxxx: 9:47 AM  
Damn skeleton, take it easy. I'm not gonna turn down a free meal, I'm a college student after all. I'll be there at 7.

You smiled at your phone, sending the message. What a dork.

Sansiel: 9:51 AM  
didn't mean to break your bones. i'll see you then.

You could practically hear his laugh coming from your phone. He had to be proud of himself after than lame pun. As you turned off your phone, you yelped at the sudden presence in front of you at the counter. "Uh, Hey, Arin." A grin spread over his cheeks warmly as he looked at you. "So... Giggling at your phone? Who's the lucky guy?" You rolled your eyes at him. "There is no lucky guy, it's my neighbor." Arin raised his eyebrows. "Damn, you're banging the boy next door?" You groaned, reaching to smack him lightly before he dodged. "No! Jesus, he invited me to dinner with his brother. Something about wanting to be pals with the 'punny girl next door'." Arin awed at that, smile growing. "Sounds like the guy's got a crush on you."

You snorted, rolling your eyes again. "We've talked twice. Once at three in the morning because I was humming and the walls are thin, another time two days ago when I couldn't get my apartment open. We sat and talked about the racism monsters suffer from." Arin laughed at that, smiling. "So, he's a political guy then? Can't have a lighter conversation the second time you talk?" You smiled. "He's sweet."

"What's his name?" You bit back your little nickname, 'Sansiel', and told him. "Sans." He paled slightly, eyes looking over you. "So, he's a monster?" You frowned. You didn't think Arin was that type of guy. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Nothing, other than you're living next to a skeleton who just so happens to be friends with the Ambassador of Monsters. Not to mention the King and Queen of them too."

Wait, was Sans actually...? You had no idea, you didn't really keep up to date on politics. You wanted to save yourself the frustration for now. "I had no idea," You murmured. Arin was the one to snort this time, looking over you. "Yeah, that little group all helped bring the monsters up from underground. Apparently that Sans guy kept an eye on the kiddo, Frisk through his little adventure. According to Queen Toriel, at least." Was Sans really that good of a guy? You didn't know him well enough to decide that for yourself, but by this point you were confident that he was.

"Yeah, I read an article that said the Ambassador calls the skeletons his uncles. Cute, huh?" You nodded, smiling. Were you seriously being invited to dinner by the Ambassador's Uncles? Holy shit! You were too excited about this. A customer came in and Arin decided to greet them as you stood in your place smiling. You were in a good mood for the rest of the day, greeting customers warmly.

You were neighbors with the uncles of a political leader. Holy shit.

* * *

You set your bag down lightly at the foot of your bed, opening your closet to find a suitable outfit. WOuld a sweatshirt be okay? Maybe not... You pulled out a tank top, jeans, and flannel just to be safe. Still casual, but nicer than a sweatshirt. You glanced at the many beanies and snapback on the shelves of your closet too. Would that be too casual? No, it was you. You had to.

You grabbed a grey beanie from the large pile in your closet, heading into the bathroom. You brushed through your hair, placing the beanie on top. You smiled at yourself in the mirror, grabbing your makeup bag. You first took moisturizer, slathering it all over your face. Then powder foundation. You took a brush and applied it liberally. You moved on to eyebrows, then to your cheeks. You decided to get a bit more dolled up than usual, deciding to contour a bit. You took your bronzer, applying it lightly to your cheeks and blending it out. Nice. You did a bit to your nose and forehead, moving on to highlight.

Should you highlight? You paused, looking at the small palette. What could be bad about it? A small amount of- Oh, okay, or a large amount of highlight. Maybe you were looking a bit too dolled up at this point. You put a light brown in your crease, adding eyeliner. Wing or no wing? Wing. You wing your eyeliner, smiling to yourself. You then curled your eyelashes, putting on mascara as a final touch. Perfect. You touched up a few areas with a concealer, blending it out with your finger. Nice.

You took a step back, looking at yourself. You were proud, you looked cute. Maybe Sans-

Sans. Were you doing this for him? No, you enjoyed makeup quite a lot. You couldn't help the smile that came to your face when you thought about him, however. He was so cool, you wanted to impress him. You wanted to make him be your friend. 

Hopefully he would be by the end of this dinner, if you could keep yourself from embarassing yourself, that is. 

You grabbed your phone, placing it in your back pocket. That's all you needed, right? Hopefully. You grabbed your keys, locking your door after you stepped out into the cool night air. You smiled, turning to look at the stars for a moment. You felt a rush of happiness consume you, your grin faltering slightly. You felt like things were going to change. Any past harm felt like it was gone in the moment. You felt like your entire life was leading up to the future. You felt capable of anything and everything.

You raised a hand to your neighbor's door, smiling. "Knock knock." You heard shuffling, then a light "who's there?" You grinned even more, holding back a giggle. "Adore."

He paused, thinking for a moment. "..adore who?" You paused for emphasis, a wide grin over your face by now. "Adore is between us, so open up." You practically heard him roll his eyes (is that even possible?) as he opened the door. "that was awful." He was grinning, so you didn't feel too bad. "Not as bad as your nitrogen jokes." He gasped playfully, holding a boney hand to his chest. "i'm hurt. those were great puns." You chuckled, slipping your shoes off out of respect. He seemed grateful. 

He led you towards his kitchen, taking in his home. It was nice, a couch, a recliner, a TV, some bookshelves in the living room. The kitchen was nice too, a table, chairs, and lots of appliances all over the counters. "hey, paps, this is the human i told you about." Who you assumed was Paps turned around swiftly wearing an apron that had originally been plain red, but had the words "Cool Papyrus" written on it in sharpie. 

"HUMAN! IT IS SO NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU. MY BROTHER HAS SPOKEN ABOUT YOU KINDLY." He wrapped you into a bone-crushing (heh) hug, lifting you from the floor before placing you back down. You glanced up at him, smile never faltering. "I'm glad it's only been nice things." You murmured, glancing at Sans who seemed to have a blue tinting over his cheekbones. Papyrus seemed oh so sweet, if not a bit childish. You loved him already.

"I NEED TO FINISH THE PASTA, SANS, GO BE A GOOD HOST AND ENTERTAIN THE HUMAN." Sans laughed lightly, nodding his head towards the living room. "c'mon, i'll beat your ass in smash bros." You grinned at the thought. "You're about to get boned, skeleton." He snorted, seeming to appriciate the pun. As he led you into the living room, he flicked on the TV and passed you a wii-controller. Shit, this guy had a freaking Wii U! Lame console, best smash game ever, though.

"I call Ness!" You immediately called, grinning happily. He seemed to pause, not sure what you were talking about. "Oh my god, you're not familiar with Earthbound, are you?" He shook his head, starting up the game. You set your controller down, crossing your arms. "Hell no, I'm explaining the plot. It's so freaking good." He groaned, turning to face you.

"Okay, so there's this kid, Right?" He nodded boredly, and you frowned. "He has powers." he nodded again, fake yawning. "Sans!" He snickered, shrugging. "not my fault you're into boring games." You groaned, turning your back to him. "Fine, guess I'll go eat ramen on my own at home." You snickered, knowing it would get to him. He sighed, wrapping his arms around you from behind. You fought the blush that rose to your cheeks. "noooo, paps won't let me live it down if you leave. i'll be so _bone-_ ly, you have no idea!" You groaned again, prying his arms off of you. "That's it, I'm leaving." You giggled, hearing his soft laugh behind you. 

"HUMAN, BROTHER! THE SPAGHETTI IS READY!" You stood, sticking your tongue out at Sans as you made your way to the kitchen. You sat down, plates of spaghetti already in their places. You grinned, it looked absolutely delicious. You couldn't spot a can anywhere, had he made this sauce himself?

" _bone_ appetite" you heard Sans mumble, an exasperated groan coming from Papyrus. "NO PUNNING AT THE TABLE!" Sans only turned to you, winking and jerking his thumb towards his brother. "he can't seem to _stomach_ my jokes." It was your turn to groan, a grin on Sans face.

Let's just say dinner was more tolerable than you expected it to be.

* * *

"HUMAN, WE MUST EXCHANGE PHONE NUMBERS!" You laughed lightly, wiping your hands on a towel. You were helping Papyrus with the dishes, Sans sitting up on the counter putting clean dishes in the cabinets. Sans glanced to you, shrugging. "i'll put it in for you, pal." You looked to him in thanks, watching as he turned the phone to you. You tapped in your password, going back to the dishes with Paps.

"why's my name 'sansiel'?" He looked to you, and you held back a snort. "Funny story," You murmured, scrubbing a dish. "So I had this ex boyfriend, right? I was trying to chew him out for doing something wrong, and I called him 'Jackery' on accident. His name was Jack, so everyone with short names that aren't already extensive, I add extensions to. So like, you're Sansiel. Like Daniel, but Sansiel. And Jill is always Jillian, so like Julian but-" You paused, deciding you'd probably gotten your point across. You clear your throat awkwardly. "Sorry, I'm rambling." You chuckled awkwardly, Sans looking to you, clearly confused. 

As you finished up the dishes, you thanked Papyrus for the wonderful dinner, giving him a hug as you grabbed your keys. Sans stood awkwardly, hands in his pockets. He ended up just giving you a wave, and you bid them a goodbye. You went back to your own apartment, locking your door and heading to your kitchen. You made yourself some tea, then headed into your room.

You sat down at your desk, popping your headphones in and putting on some relaxing music as you drew. It wasn't until 2 AM that your phone buzzed.

Sansiel: 2:04 AM  
hey, what's the deal with the sorry thing? you seemed nervous.

You froze reading the message. Was it that clear that you had some weird anxiety issue?

xxxx: 2:07 AM  
Personal baggage. I get told I'm annoying a lot.

Simple enough, right? Hopefully that explained enough. You didn't want to get into it at two in the fucking morning.

Sansiel: 2:10 AM  
weird, you never really speak unless spoken to. i bet if i never texted you you'd never text me.

You felt a sinking in your stomach. Jesus, he was incredibly analytical, wasn't he? He could catch even the slightest little thing. 

xxxx: 2:12 AM  
i probably wouldn't. 

Admittedly, you wouldn't. You hoped it didn't make him feel bad saying that, but with the next text that worry was washed away.

Sansiel: 2:14 AM  
s'ok. i get it. you have some kind of lingering baggage, i won't pry. i hope you get better, though.

Sweet. He was too sweet. You felt a blush creep onto your cheeks at that, sniffing. Don't cry, you begged yourself. He would hear.

Sansiel: 2:15 AM  
don't cry over some dumb comment. 

He had heard you, great. 

xxxx: 2:17 AM  
No, it was just sweet of you to say that. Thank you.

You sniffed, a smile washing over your face. You were grateful to have such a caring neighbor who didn't mind your mental bullshit. It was a nice change, especially since he wasn't prying. Everyone else who had noticed anything would.

Sansiel: 2:18 AM  
good nitrogen

Sansiel: 2:18 AM  
sleep tightrogen

xxxx: 2:19 AM  
Don't let the bed bugs biterogen. Good night, Sansiel.

 

Sansiel: 2:21 AM  
night, human :o)

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey! I finished yet another chapter! I hope you guys are digging this so far, I'm trying my best with the puns. I literally have four tabs open of different kinds of puns. Only a handful throughout this entire story will be original, and then again, probably not. I'm not super creative, lol. I'm hoping to take this pretty slow, but not extremely slow at the same time, and I hope you guys don't mind me digging into reader's thoughts a bit. Some emotional shit will happen soon, promise. Get ready for the feels.
> 
> As always, my tumblr is nationallydone.tumblr.com , and I'll try to post extra stuff there as this story unfolds. See you guys in the next chapter!  
> <3


	3. Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Stop squirming."
> 
>  
> 
> HEY Depression/Non-Con warning! This gets a bit more into reader's thoughts and such, and it's a bit much. That tag up there that says past abuse comes into play here, but I thought I should get a bit into it now instead of later; I'd rather you all know where this might go now instead of later so you don't get invested or feel as if you wasted time not being able to finish the story because of the content. This is your warning however, so please be careful when reading. <3
> 
> This chapter isn't very skippable because it will show up a LOT in the future, and also Frisk and Toriel are introduced.

_No one deserves to be forgotten._

You felt your eyes water as you stared ahead of you. This happened sometimes. You would divulge into your feelings and innermost thoughts a bit sometimes. It had been about two months since you moved in, and you would see the skeleton brothers once in awhile. Mostly conversations when you saw them outside and such, but sometimes when you weren't busy you'd hang out with them at their place. It wasn't often, but enough that you could consider the two close friends of yours.

You sat with your legs between the bars of the railing outside your apartment. You were on the third floor, the boy's own apartment beside yours, theirs being the last one at the end of the hall, yours being the second to last. You were thankful for that, having one of the last apartments and having an okay view of the sunset from outside your door. It was nice. 

With a nice sunset view also came with an amazing night view of the stars. You would sometimes sit quietly and watch the stars early in the morning if you couldn't sleep. That's where you found yourself tonight. Two AM and you were hurting, heart feeling as if it was being clenched painfully by a metal hand. You wiped at your eyes roughly with your sleeve, begging yourself not to make a noise. You'd learned over the last few months Sans was like a dog with his hearing. He was not only a light sleeper when he wanted to be, but also keen to hear any little thing- Especially if he was in the living room of his apartment right now. He would be able to hear your sobs if he was. You closed your eyes and leaned your forehead against the bars of the railing, lightly gripping the metal as you took a few deep breaths.

_"Seriously, stop-"_

You gasped as you opened your eyes. You didn't want to hear any of that; nothing your mind played back. You didn't know if you could handle it. You still had trouble looking at yourself in the mirror after all of that.

_"Stop squirming."_

_Stop it_ , you begged yourself. You felt yourself tense as a quiet sob- nearly a squeak- leave your mouth. You shut your eyes, gripping the bars a bit tighter. 

" _I don't- mrrph-"_ _A hand was now clasped firmly over your lips. You knew it wouldn't go much farther tonight than just groping, and you knew he had no idea what he was doing was wrong. He would always tell you, "If there's anything I do you don't want me to, just tell me", but he never gave you that option. Just like now, with his hand gripped tightly over your mouth as his other hand trailed over your hip, lifting your shirt. He had no idea, and you could never talk to him about it either because he would always assume you enjoyed this, and brush off your feelings about his... Domination? Not a good word, you knew, but you felt hopeless. With your anxiety, you found it hard to even speak to people on your own, and confrontation was more terrifying than anything. You couldn't speak to him._

You opened your eyes, feeling worn out. Tears had leaked freely down your face, your hands were now pale with how tightly you gripped the bars before you. You had held your breath you realized, and your breathing was now heavy and labored. Why tonight? On one of your few days off? Why?

You sniffed, pushing away from the bars and leaning up against the outside wall of your apartment, As you looked around, you noticed a steaming cup of hot cocoa beside where you had sat previously, and a note beside it.

_"i didn't wanna bug you, but you looked tense. i came out because i thought i heard sniffling, and you looked deep in thought or something. when you see this, feel free to knock on my door. we can talk if you need/want to. -sansiel"_

You smiled slightly, sliding the ceramic mug towards you, the soft sound of it running over the concrete being the only thing holding you together at the moment. You took a tentative sip, glancing up at Sans' door. You sighed, standing on wobbly feet and standing before his door. You stared at it, wondering if it would be okay. He said it would, but what if he was just being nice? A good neighbor?

Fuck it, you decided. You tapped lightly on the door, looking down at the concrete floor below you as you heard the door in front of you open. You held the mug close to your chest, a wave of tears brimming in your eyes. 

"hey, c'mere kid." He whispered softly, gently pulling you into the warmth of his home. You sniffed, a stiff laugh escaping your chapped lips. "Sorry," You murmured, feeling his hand take the mug from you and set it on the coffee table. He gently pushed you onto the couch, taking his spot beside you. You sat, gripping the cushion below you. Sans stood, grabbing the throw off of the back of the couch, covering you both in it. You leaned on him, feeling his arm lace around your back as he hugged you. You sighed, a tear leaking from your eyes.

"we don't have to talk if you don't want to."

And so you didn't. You sat with him, both of you leaning on each other. He held you close, and you hoped to god he couldn't feel the heat on your cheeks. You began to cry, soft sobs wracking through your body as you finally hugged him, gripping him as if you would fall into nothingness if you didn't. You cried and cried, holding him as tightly as possible as he cooed you, rubbing small circles on your back. You wanted to apologize, to pull away and leave him be. This couldn't be what he wanted to do. He should be sleeping, and here you were ruining that. 

"don't." You could feel his hot breath on your collarbone as he spoke. You felt his arms wrap around you a bit tighter. "it's okay." You felt him pull away, fear washing over you. He looked up at you, his arms still around you.

"someone hurt you and that's okay. we all have a few skeletons," You watched his smile become more strained as you realized his unintentional pun. You gave him a small smile, his face becoming more relaxed. You sniffed, wiping your hand over your tear-stained cheeks. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" He chuckled, shaking his head. "another time, promise."

* * *

You leaned your head on the counter of your station, a sigh escaping your lips. Your co-workers were all helping people, and you knew you should be too. You, however, were so damn tired from your day off. Crying early morning, sleeping the rest of the day, and not being able to sleep that night. Great.

You pulled yourself up as the jingle on the door went off. "Hey, Welcome! Let me know if you need anything, I'll be... Here..." You stated awkwardly at the two who stepped into the store. A large goat monster and what looked to be a human child had walked through the doors. The child went straight to the boards lining the walls, the mother stepping towards you. "Is it okay if I stand here while they browse? I promised I'd let Frisk get a skateboard if they passed their math class, and they pointed me here." You smiled, assuming the child's name was Frisk. How cute.

"Yeah, of course! I can help you guys pick out some starter stuff though?" You watched the kid pick up a rather large board for their size. "And maybe something not so pricey since it's their first." The goat monster smiled at you, nodding. "Oh, please!"

You led the mother and her child to the back of the store. "Okay, always come over here if you want some cheap stuff. Everything on this wall is always on sale, so you can get some good stuff for cheap." The mother sighed happily as you grabbed a perticular board from the wall. The kid was pointing at it, and you wanted to show it to them up close. "This board is one of the smaller ones, so it would be good for them." You pointed to the kid, smiling at them. "A good size, and the wheels are pretty good for beginners. Nothing too extravagant, got everything you need. Trucks, Grip tape, Bearings..." You trailed off, realizing the mother probably had no idea what you were talking about. "Ahem, what I'm trying to say is uh... It's a good board for cheap." You smiled awkwardly, Frisk grabbing it from you to look it over. They spun the wheels, grinning from ear to ear.

"Is there anything extra they need? Besides a helmet and pads, of course." She smiled, and you thought. "Well, we have a selection of clothing and apparel for skaters, but it's definitely not required for skating. It's more of a fashion style than anything." You smiled, and she turned to look at a sweatshirt. Frisk ran over to the shoes, pointing to a pair of vans up on the wall. 

"You do need new shoes, Huh?" The woman hummed, sitting on a bench in front of the shoes. "Could you help us find a pair?" She turned to you as you nodded. "Yes, of course! Frisk leaned the board against the bench beside their mother as they pointed at a pair of high tops. You smiled, turning to their mother. "Size?" She told you, and you were off. You grabbed the size and also the size up, knowing sometimes the shoes fit snugly. You placed them down, kneeling to help the kid tie them up properly. They were so cute, and couldn't be more than ten. How sweet!

You tied them up, and Frisk walked around. They nodded, and you packed the shoes up.You grabbed the board and shoes, and walked up to the cash register to hold them. Toriel grabbed a sweatshirt from a rack, held it up to Frisk, and lightly placed it in front of you on the counter. "This all?" You smiled, watching as the woman opened her wallet to grab her credit card. She smiled, and you rung up the items. You smiled when Frisk placed a set of kneepads, elbow pads, and a helmet with bones scattered over it on the counter. They signed something quickly as the mother nodded. "Yes, Uncle Sans and Uncle Papyrus will love it."

You paused, glancing down to the child. "Wait you guys know Sans and Papyrus?" Frisk nodded and thier mother ruffled their hair. "Yes, I'm Toriel, by the way." She held a fluffy hand out to you and you shook it. "Wonderful to meet you! They've mentioned you before." You gave her your name and she giggled. "Oh, yes! Their neighbor! Papyrus has spoken highly of you."

You smiled at her, feeling your heart sink. Did Sans never talk about you? You considered yourself closer to him. It made sense, he seemed pretty closed off to everyone.

"Alright, Board is $65, Sweatshirt... $20, Kneepads, Elbow pads, Helmet.. all total to $40... And shoes, $50. $175 plus tax.... $190. Your total is $180 with the friends and family discount, Credit or Debit?" You smiled at her, her bewildered expression making you chuckle lightly. "You don't have to do that..." She murmured, smiling at you. You winked, shrugging. "Of course I do." She smiled, sighing happily. "Credit." You took her card and swiped it. You bagged the items, handing the board to Frisk. You handed Toriel the two bags of items, smiling and stuffing the receipt in the bag.

"Thanks for stopping by, guys! Come again!" You chimed, waving to them. Toriel paused by the door, rushing back over. "Here's my number, we'd love to have you for dinner sometime. Glad to know you're the one the boys talk about!" You grinned, a blush running up your neck and onto your cheeks. You entered her number into your phone, sending a quick text with your name. She smiled, entering your info as well.

"Thank you so much! Bye!" She rushed back to Frisk and out the shop doors.

"That's the most helpful you've been in a long time." Arin grinned, poking your shoulder. "Your anxiety is getting better."

You smiled at him, nodding. 

"Yeah, I know."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy sorry if this is more of a filler, I promise a better chapter will be up soon. Hope you liked it otherwise!
> 
> As always, my tumblr is nationallydone.tumblr.com ! Feel free to stop by, I'll try to post little extra things on there :)


	4. Child Warning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "s'okay, you can't be good at everything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a whole fucking chapter written, and it took me three days. It was super long, and it just went... poof. So take this trainwreck.
> 
> Also warning for some angst/abuse elements, extremely descriptive panic attack warning, and more of readers past exposed as well. and some friendly fluff. this is your final warning.

"Fuck!"

You cursed as someone began banging heavily on your front door. The one time you needed complete silence and complete, undisturbed focus for a project, you were bothered. There was no way you could save this at this point. You grabbed a sponge and tried to sop up the wet paint on your canvas in the places it shouldn't be, but of course, it was already ground in a bit too deep. Maybe you could paint over it, but this had definitely set you back a bit, and his was due in two more days. You stood, dropping your brush into your small jar of water, and pulled down the sleeves of your acrylic-stained sweatshirt. The banging continued, as you made your way to your door. "Jesus I'm coming, hold up!" You unlocked your door, not bothering to look through the peep-hole (a bad habit you never learned to break) and swung the door open. 

"Hey, Sorry to bother you right now but I've been watching my little bro while Mom and Pops were on business and-" You sighed, running a hand through your unbrushed hair. "Just get to it, Arin." He smiled a bit, ruffling the kid's hair. "Okay, fine. You know I work two jobs, right? Anyways, owners called me in for a late shift last minute at Mickey D's." You groaned, glancing from him to the kid. "Take him with you."

"You know I can't! Pops would kill me, he has school tomorrow! All I'm asking is you let him sleep here, and I can pick him up early tomorrow to take him to school. What did he expect from you? To say yes? You had a lot of work to do, and you didn't exactly have anywhere but the couch for the kid to sleep. "Why are you asking me?" You weren't exactly great at taking care of children. Hell, you couldn't even take care of yourself. You couldn't even hold your tongue in important meetings, how were you supposed to last hours watching a child without cussing? "Because my girlfriend is busy and no one else is up."

Wait, how late has it even gotten? Especially considering it's a Tuesday, most people go to bed by nine or ten. You glanced to the kitchen, sighing. It was eleven, and even though you barely knew this kid, you knew he needed sleep. He looked like he was about to pass out any minute anyways. You couldn't turn them away, what was Arin supposed to do? "Fine. But you owe me." Arin's once tense demeanor turned soft, and he grinned ear to ear at you. "Oh my god, thank you! Thank you so much, I'll owe you big time. Alright, Ryan. Take care, I'll see you tomorrow!" And with that, Arin was off and Ryan was standing in front of you. 

"Um... I'll go make your bed." You murmured, shutting and locking the door as he stepped in. "How old are you?" You asked, walking towards your hall closet. You pulled out two pillows and some blankets, making him a makeshift bed on your couch. "Eight." He murmured, looking on as you propped the pillows up and smoothed out the blankets. "I'm sorry your brother dumped you here, must be weird staying with a random chick, huh?" Ryan just nodded and yawned, and you smiled softly at him. Poor kid, You knew Arin was somewhat of a workaholic, but this? he should have said no, but then again...

"Arin's talked about you." Ah, cute kid. Trying to make small talk with you. "Has he?" Awkward pause, then you heard him step towards you and sit down on the couch. He pulled his shoes and jacket off, nodding. "Mhm. Says you don't have many friends." Ah... Thanks, Arin. Not wrong but... Hard to hear. "Until recently."

What? Recently?

"What do you mean?" You asked, walking towards your kitchen. You looked over the open bar towards your couch where Ryan was shifting to lay down. "He says you became friends with your neighbors or something. Skeletons! And that you became friends with a kid and his mom when they came in the other day." You chuckled, pouring some water into a glass. "I wouldn't call Toriel and Frisk friends, just... Someone who's friends with my neighbors." It was true, you didn't consider them friends, but then again, Arin was right about you gaining more confidence lately. "Ohh. I see!" You set the glass beside him, and he yawned. "Can you read me a story?"

Oh shit. You don't have any of those. 

"Um... Let me see if I have something." Shit, shit. You didn't have anything! Maybe you could find something online, but that would be more work than it's worth. Maybe... "Sans!" You rushed into your room, knocking a bit too loud on the wall. You heard a groan, and a shift. "yes?" He sounded tired. "Did I wake you up?" You heard more shifting, then a yawn. "nah. you're good. what's up?" You sighed, then spoke. "Arin dropped his little brother off and he's staying over here and he apparently has school tomorrow and I need him to sleep but he wants a story and I don't have one and-" 

"woah, woah. slow down, there. there's a kid at your house, and you asking if i have any books to lend you?" You sighed, realizing you had been rambling. "Um, y-yes." You heard him shift again, and he sounded a tad bit more distant. "aight, i'll drop something off. hold tight." You grinned, knocking lightly. "Thank you so much, I'll owe you forever!" You heard him chuckle and a door creak. 

You stepped out to your living room, Ryan looking at you oddly. "Sorry, my neighbor has his room on the shared wall in mine. He's bringing over a story for you." Ryan smiled, sitting up. You heard a light knocking on your front door. "knock knock." You groaned, then leaned on your door. "Who's there?" He paused, and you waited.

"al."

"Al who?"

Another pause. He seemed to be thinking something over. "open up and  _al_ give you a kiss. or a book, whichever you prefer." You felt your face begin to burn at that. "B-Books fine!" You squeaked, opening your door for him. "aw, too bad. i'm great at giving kisses with my lack of lips." He snapped his phalanges, your smile widening at his dumb joke. "Har har, what a punny skeleton you are." 

Sans held a book out to you, but you grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside instead. You hugged him, and grinned. "Thank you so much! I really appriciate this late-night request." He smiled, shruging. "anything for my _pun_ tner in crime." You rolled your eyes. "Boo. Bad skelly." Ryan gasped, grinning at you both. "Woah! A real skeleton!" Sans tensed, and gently pushed you away from him. 

"yeah, a real skeleton." You glanced between the two as Ryan hopped up from his place on the sofa and dashed towards you both. You gently nudged Sans, giving him a pointed look. You took the book from his hands. "How about that story, buddy?" Ryan looked like he wanted to ask Sans some questions, but it was clear Sans wasn't in the best headspace. He sounded fine from the side of the wall, but you had woken him up. He probably wasn't mentally prepared for a child right now.

"Can he stay?" Ryan began awkwardly rocking on his feet, looking up at you. Aw, he was using the puppy-dog look every kid had. Sweet. You looked to Sans, and was about to give him an excuse to leave when he beat you to it. "sure, kiddo. go get settled in while i talk to your sitter here." You felt goosebumps on your arms as Sans gently took your arm and moved you into the hall a bit more. "He's just a kid, Sans. He didn't mean it like that." You blurted, turning towards him. You were ready to cry, honestly. This was stressful enough, being put in charge of an eight-year-old at eleven at night when you had so much work to do. And now, Sans didn't seem mentally prepared either.

"huh? you think i was mad?" You shrugged, looking down at your feet. You felt stupid, of course he wasn't mad. "kid, like you said, he's a kid. has no idea what he's saying sometimes, right? no idea something like that could be... well, offensive." He shrugged, and you sighed. "no, i just wanted to make sure you're okay." Wait, what? Was he...  _worried_ about you?

"Yeah, I'm fine!" It came out a bit forced, and he gave you a look. Yeah, that didn't sound too convincing. "Really, I'm okay. I just... God, I fucked up my project so bad, Sans. When Arin dropped by my paint when  _everywhere_ and I might not be able to fix it. So um, yeah, I'm a tiny bit stressed, especially since I'm uh, now taking care of a child? I'm not usually trusted with children, I can't even trust myself-" You cut yourself off. Stop it. Now. He looked confused, which was valid. He raised a brow bone at you, and waited for you to finish. You didn't.

"trust yourself? what do you mean?" Shit shit shit. Too much too soon. While you may be getting a bit better at socializing with strangers, socializing in general wasn't too great yet. You were seriously about to spill some major baggage on him, and you hadn't even  _meant_ to. You kept your mouth shut, not trusting yourself to say anything without stuttering or your voice cracking.

"fine. we'll talk later. kiddo's waiting." Okay, good. An out for at least a little while. You stepped out of the hall and made your way to the couch where Ryan was absentmindedly tugging at a loose thread on one of your blankets. He smiled at you both as Sans took a seat on the couch by Ryan's feet. You sat on your coffee table, opening the book. "Um, can he um, read it to me instead?" You looked to Sans who just shrugged, handing him the book. "His name is Sans, sweetie. But sure, anything for such a well behaved kid." You winked at Ryan, then stood. Sans opened the book, grin looking a tad bit wider than usual. He cleared his throat (did he have one of those?) as you stepped into your kitchen. You watched them both through the open bar, hearing Ryan giggle a few times at some dumb puns Sans cracked throughout the story. How sweet, Sans was so good with kids. You wouldn't have guessed that by the way he walked in, but you appreciated his effort. You turned on your kettle, deciding you would make yourself and Sans some tea as Ryan began to fall asleep.

Halfway through the story, you heard soft breathing and the book being placed on the coffee table. Sans appeared in the kitchen as you set two tea bags in the hot water you had just boiled. You handed him a mug, smiling warmly at him. "thanks." He murmured, taking a tentative sip. You watched him, realizing you had never really watch him eat or drink before. It was sort of mesmerizing, his teeth had sort of... Malleable lips to them? That was the best way to describe it, and you felt your face grow warm. You felt invasive, but you couldn't tear your eyes away from him.

He was just... Astounding, to say the least.

"what? never seen a skeleton drink tea before?" He winked at you, and you swore that you could have swooned right then and there. You finally tore your eyes away, looking down into your cup of tea. "Thanks for um, helping me out. I'm a bit rusty when it comes to uh... Children..." You murmured, avoiding eye contact with him. "s'okay, you can't be good at everything."

You felt your mug slip from your fingertips, dropping onto your tile floor. It didn't break, thank god, but did clatter. "Sh-Shit, I-I'm sorry-" Sans held up a hand and grabbed a towel. You took it from him, kneeling on the floor. You wiped up the mess, then set the mug into the sink with shaky fingers.

You wish he didn't say that. Oh god, did you. It echoed through your head. He was right, you couldn't, but it hit you in just the wrong place. If you had been good at everything, maybe _he_ wouldn't have-

_"Seriously? How fucking hard is it to pop some fuckin' popcorn? The bag is mostly kernels!" You were more than terrified. He threw the hot bag at you, little kernels pelting your skin. They felt like tiny bullets, honestly. Little, steaming hot bullets. "I-I'm sorry!" You yelped, flinching as the bag hit the ground._

"hey, you alright?"

 _"Why is this ramen so fucking spicy? Why can't we afford more than fucking_ ramen _? You should be working harder than this! Making more money!" Boiling water washed over your back, making you hiss in pain. You could never wear tank tops on their own now, this would scar horribly._

"hey, kid, seriously, what's wrong?"

_You were numb. You grunted with each hit, but you learned a long time ago to just take it. If you screamed, it would last longer. This way, he would wear himself out and leave. Get drunk. Give you a few hours to yourself._

_And that's exactly what he did, he wore himself out, left, and you went to the bathroom to tend to your bruises. You grabbed a wad of toilet paper, dabbing it over your split lip. He decked you in the jaw, but that was the only real damage to your face. Unlucky for you, he was smart. He knew he would be in trouble if he did too much to your face._

"hey!" You blinked, breathing heavy. What just happened? You completely checked out for... How long...? Sans was calling your name, you realized. You let go of the sink, rubbing your knuckles. You had been gripping the edge of the sink a bit too hard, a sharp pain in your knuckles. They were regaining color, but were a bit sore. "Sorry," You murmrued, chuckling awkwardly. Sans looked at you, a worried expression over his skull. Shit, you needed to control these better. These... Flare ups, you called them, usually only happened at night, but had recently been getting worse and worse. Harder to pull yourself out of. Harder to keep to the minimum. They seemed to be getting worse, more frequent.

Sans grabbed your hand gently, pulling you towards the hall. He looked at you, then sighed. "which door is to your room?" You nodded weakly to your door as he swung it open. You stumbled to your bed, sitting on it and placing your head in your hands. He looked at you, then stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"i get it if you don't want to talk. we all have things we don't want to share. i understand, but that doesn't mean that you don't need help. clearly you do." You didn't bother looking at him, didn't bother even acknowledging his words. "are you on anything?" You nodded, but didn't respond. "where's the bottle, then?" You scoffed, pointing to your desk.

he rummaged through the drawers, producing a bottle from within one. "one, this is a pain killer. two, this is empty, three, i mean for your ptsd." You froze.

PTSD? Is that what he thought you had?

"I don't have PTSD, Sans." He scoffed, dropping the bottle and running a hand over his skull. "bullshit. look at you, you're a fucking mess." You bit your lip, running a hand through your tangled hair. "I have anxiety, Sans." He scoffed again. "that might be a symptom of your ptsd." You stood, glaring at him. "Don't fucking diagnose me with something you know nothing about." He froze, grin tightening. "'know nothing about', huh?" 

"Y-Yeah. How would you? Underground must have been fuckin' terrible if you've got PTSD, Sans." He looked at you, a pained expression over his skull. You were pushing him, you knew. You knew you were digging, but you just couldn't stop. He had been so wonderful to you over the past few months, yet here you were, digging into the most sensitive part of him. "what do  _you_ know about the underground?" He was silent after that, staring at you with a burning  _hatred._

"Y-You're right, I-I'm so-" You dug your nails into your palms, shaking slightly. You felt like crying, like breaking down, but then-

Then there was nothing. You felt nothing.

You felt tiny beads of blood on your palms as your nails dug in further and further, shaking making your nails act as tiny saws on your palms, cutting a bit into your flesh. Sans was staring at you, expression unchanging as you slowly broke down before him.

Nothing. Numb. This wasn't good. This was never a good sign. Your breathing began to pick up as your eyes began watering. You had lost control of yourself completely, body slowly going just as numb as your mind. You felt like everything before you was fake, and that everything your eyes were seeing wasn't actually there. Your brain had shut down, nothing being processed anymore.

Your breathing got heavier as your hand got tighter, blood pooling around your nails.

_Stop._

You were able to move your fingers from your palm to your chest, gripping your shirt. You screwed your eyes shut, tears streaming down your face. 

_Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. Inoutinoutinoutinout_

You swallowed some air, a gasp leaving your lips. Sans had seemed to pull himself out of his own anger, staring at you with a terrified expression.

_Count. One. Two. Three. Four. Too fast, slow down. One.    Two.    Three.   Four.  Five. Six. Seven. EightNineTenElevenTwelve-_

"h-hey, kid-"

You could hear yourself sobbing, but you didn't feel like it was you. You didn't feel anything. You opened your eyes and realized you had fallen to your knees. "hey, kid, seriously, you're freaking me out-" Had he never seen a panic attack before? Probably not. You couldn't blame him, but he spoke as if he had known the feeling before. Then again, witnessing a panic attack was very different than having one. Very, Very different.

"please, just breathe. count with me, slowly, alright? one." Pause. "two." longer pause. "three. don't forget to exhale." You exhaled. "four. take a breath." You took a deep breath. "not so deep, alright? exhale and take a shorter breath." You exhaled, and took an  _extremely_ short breath. "heh, okay, not that short. a bit deeper." You took another breath, and he seemed satisfied. "alright, hold it. one." Pause. "two." Pause. "three. exhale." You exhaled. "alright, inhale as i count. one." short pause. "two." pause. "three. hold it." Holding. "one." Still holding. "two-" You exhaled. "aw, c'mon, kid. i know you can do better." You inhaled, and stared at him. You could feel yourself coming down from your episode, and after a few moments, felt a lot better.

"you okay?" It was then you realized your surroundings. One of his hands was holding onto your shoulder firmly, but not painfully, while the other was gripping one of your hands. He was kneeling before you, staring into your eyes rather calmly. He did exceptionally well considering he seemed terrified before.

"You should be a therapist." You murmured, shuffling away from him. His smile faltered slightly as you moved away from him, but he let you go. "why's that?" You shrugged, bringing your knees to your chest as you leaned on the frame of your bed from your spot on the floor. He stared at you for a moment, then sighed. He started getting up before you spoke again.

"You're good at talking to people." He paused, sitting back down. "yeah?" You nodded. "You keep your calm in bad situations." He looked at you, expression unreadable. So you kept going. "You helped me down from a panic attack. You're kind hearted- er, well, souled, since, um, do skeletons have-?" He held up a hand, cutting you off. "no, not really, but thanks. i appriciate it."

"Preesh." You murmured. He cocked a brow bone, a questioning glance sent your way. "Um, like the Sansiel thing- 'Appriciate it' I shorten to 'Preesh', if that makes sense? Like, 'Preesh your effort'. Sorry, um," You paused, bringing your knees a bit closer to you. Sans moved to sit beside you, bringing his own knees to his chest. "don't think too hard, alright? you don't have to explain yourself all the time. nothing to be sorry about, or worried about, or regretful about. what happens happens, and i'll never hold that against you."

You wanted to cry at that, he was too sweet. You were so worn out, so tired after your episode. "Thank you," You murmured, feeling one of his boney arms reach behind you and pulling a blanket from your bed. He placed it over your shoulders, a sigh escaping your lips.

You thought over the past couple months. You met one of his friends and her kid. You met him and Paps. You got his number, put him in as-

"Oh my god." You murmured. You met his friend Toriel, and you met him. Sans and Toriel. "hm?"

"I put you in my phone as a ship name." He choked on a breath of air, then began cackling. "what?" 

"Sansiel. Toriel. Sans. Sans and Toriel." You stated it like it was obvious. "no, pfft- hah, no! no, it's not a ship name, the hell are you talking about?" You groaned, placing a hand over your eyes. "Sans and Toriel! Toriel and Sans! Sansiel is a ship name!" He snorted, then shook his skull. "f-fuck, no it's not! my friend undyne and alphys already made a ship name." 

Huh? Someone already made him and Toriel a ship name? "I'm highly offended someone thought of a ship name before I could give input." You muttered. "What is it?"

"soriel." He laughed, poking your side. "So... Do you like her, then?" You murmrued, leaning your head on his shoulder (bone? shoulder bone?). He shook his head, placing his head on top of yours. "nah. she got back with her ex, asgore, anyways." You sighed, frowning. "They're called an ex for a reason, jeez. I was about to play matchmaker too, and try to hook you guys up." He snorted, sighing happily. "welp, too late kiddo. that trains come and gone long before i met you." 

"Aww, too bad. I'm great at playing matchmaker." He hummed, nodding. "not hard to believe. you are quite the casanova yourself, always have guys hanging from you." You snorted. "Sarcasm noted. I'll have you know guys love me. Clearly, considering I've gotten you into my room under the guise of a panic attack." He stiffened slightly, then chuckled. "you faker, i knew it." He chuckled, feeling his chest rumble. You let your eyes drift closed, smiling lightly. He was absolutely amazing, the way he worked was like... Art. That was the best way to explain it.

"ay, kid, i'd love to stay and chat, i do have fun with ya, y'know." You hummed, eyes fluttering open. "but if i'm not home when paps wakes up it'll be hell to pay." You picked your head up, a yawn escaping your lips as you nodded. "Yeah, sorry." You stood, gripping the blanket over your shoulders. "Let me walk you out." He stood as well, pinpricks looking over you swiftly. You led him to your front door, swinging it open for him. "Y'know," You ventured, leaning on your doorframe as he exited. "I'm changing your name from Sansiel to  _Sans_ -ational." His grin seemed to widen as he looked at you. "yeah? better than sansiel."

You gasped, smacking his arm lightly. "Rude. I'll see you later, bonehead." He nodded, watching as you closed the door.

You turned, walking quietly towards your couch. You watched Ryan's chest rise and fall, a smile grazing your lips. You sighed softly, looking to the coffee table. Well shit, he left the book.

You couldn't help but feel as if he'd done that on purpose. To give you a reason to stop by. You'd been too busy this week, Sans _had_ mentioned Papyrus wanted to make you spaghetti again...

Ah, fuck it. You'll drop by tomorrow. You trod quietly to your room, leaving your door open so you could hear if Ryan needed anything. You plopped ungracefully onto your bed, hearing a light tapping from the wall.

"good nitrogen."

You snorted. "Is this tradition now? To say 'good nitrogen' every night?" You heard him hum. "what, you don't like it? i think it's quite copper and tellurium." You groaned. "Shut up, skelly. You're cruisin for a bruisin." He chuckled, and you sighed happily.

"Okay, sleep tightrogen, skelly. Ask Paps if I can come over tomorrow for dinner, Alright?" 

"yes madam human. will do." You rolled over on your side, settling into your covers. 

 

"don't let the bed bugs biterogen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAYYY  
> So this chapter is extra long, and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. Tbh, it's better than the one I lost, so... Yeah!
> 
> As always, my tumblr is nationallydone.tumblr.com , and it'll house the extra shtuff. Contact me there!
> 
> also trysten if ur readin hi ily


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